ROOTED - Thursday, August 7, 2025

Exodus 20:12
12 Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Reflection: Question #58

Written By: Pastor Jesse Caro

Question: What is the Fifth Commandment?

Answer: Exodus 20:12

I recently read an article about the rise of parental estrangement brought on by adult children. That is, these adult children, in our TIKTOK generation use this, and other platforms, to announce to the world how badly their parents raised them. They go on to announce how they want “no contact” with their parents as the final and ultimate boundary they now impose on them. Are you familiar with this trend. I, for one, am nauseated by this trend on social media. In the article I read, the author says that, “Critics portray no-contact family breakup as a ‘scourge inflicted by hyper individualistic, narcissistic millennials’ who ‘reject filial duty, refuse to reconcile, fail to forgive and take the easy way out of hard conversations.’” The author of the article I read does not agree with the critics, but to the critic I say, “yes and Amen!” I hate this individualistic, me-centric, unforgiving side of our modern culture. 

Completely lost here is the grounding reality of the Fifth Commandment: honor your parents. Not, “Honor your parents if they were perfect.” Honor your parents! We often see, even in our Christian culture, that advice is given to other well-meaning Christians to disassociate, create no-contact, with their parents. “You need healthy boundaries!” they say. “Look how badly they treated you.” “They hurt you and you need to love yourself.” I don’t mean to throw stones but only to encourage, but that is bad advice. What they need to do is learn to honor their parents. People need to be taught how to forgive and to have relationships with people who have hurt them. Of course, create healthy boundaries if one must… but do so with love and honor. No parent is perfect… and God knows, no child is perfect. So, we learn to love one another, forgive one another, honor one another. This is a very basic Law of God: honor your parents. We don’t have to obey our parents as we get older, but we must always honor them. It is, as the Apostle Paul says it, “the first commandment with promise!” 

Prayer 

Lord, may we learn, even when it is hard and hurtful, to learn to obey you in all that you ask of us. May we teach that honoring parents, even if it is hard, is good and honors you, our Heavenly Father!